Silly Season top 5 - second installment

Here are updated, personal top 5 lists of Arsenal's supposed transfer targets this summer.


Credible list first:

out:  Simon Kjær: the Danish defender, rated at £10m, is now crocked after a WC warmup game for Denmark. Jack Rodwell: definitely staying with Everton, signing a five year deal. And Marouane Chamakh has actually been signed, remember?

5. (3) Brede Hangeland: this everlasting rumour was lastly pushed by the Evening Standard. For £10m, you get Norway's international captain, Fulham's MVP and one of the best defenders in the league. They say.

4. (new) Mark Schwarzer: at 38 he would be too old to be a Wenger signing? Well, we signed Mart Poom back in the day, and even re-signed John Lukic at almost 40.

3. (new) Yoann Gourcuff: playmaker from Bordeaux, about to hit the World Cup. This deal will either happen very quickly or not at all. Most probably the latter.

2. (new) Laurent Koscielny: a defender from French football who the local papers there report are scouted and a subject for bidding. These stories have been uncritically translated by the Mail and the Mirror. We'll see...

1. (2) Pape Diakhatè: now wanted even by Bacary Sagna. Supposedly on the skinny side for a central defender, but that would just be a typical Wenger signing, wouldn't it?

The silly list is all new, or it would be boring:

5.  Joe Cole: being a free transfer doesn't help. His salary would be as far from free as you could imagine.

4. Lassana Diarra: just what Arsenal needs now, an injured midfielder. And one who wasn't good enough  the last time he was at the club.

3.  Shaun Wright-Phillips: just what Arsenal needs now, a kind of winger-cum-midfielder, on the slight side but with good dribbling skills... Touted by his step-dad, not by any others.

2.  Zlatan Ibrahimovic: sure, you could just see him link up with Bendtner, waiting for the right moment to pass to him... And at least the Dane can handle the rain.

1.  Luka Modric: as if he was even good enough...

Feel free to comment and discuss  any target on this blog.

Silly Season Top 5 - so far

Due to extreme boredom (read: hardly any proper rumours) today, I've decided to rank the silliest rumours and the most credible rumours. It's not scientific at all... but, then again, neither are the rumours themselves. If the people who actually make a living off football writing can imagine things, why shouldn't I?

Credible list first:

5. Simon Kjær: a Danish defender in Italian football. Represents the vast majority on the transfer-target-possible-rumour-bonanza list: players Arsenal surely have scouted. But nevertheless won't sign.

4. Jack Rodwell: on the list not because he'll end up at the Emirates, but because Arsène Wenger would definitely be interested. Too many others want to offer him a deal, though. Not least Everton...

3. Brede Hangeland: this rumour won't go away, even if Wenger has said that Arsenal have never bid for him. (Hasn't said they never will, mind.) Been linked with Arsenal last year, and the year before that, too. But easily Fulham's most important player, and with at least two years left on his current deal.

2. Pape Diakhatè: fills every known criteria for a Wenger signing: fairly young, reportedly athletic, skilful and fast, and you've never heard of him.

1. Marouane Chamakh: come on, it's a done deal and everyone knows it. Will be announced when Chamakh's deal officially runs out, 1 June or 1 July is my best bet (haven't bothered to research it).

Silly list:

5. Gianluigi Buffon: while still a good goalkeeper, the former Italian international has only been linked with Arsenal because a) he is a goalkeeper, and b) he really, really wants to play in the Premier League and enjoy the fans and the experience and... and... earn the most he can get in Europe.

4. Robert Green: rumour started in the Metro. 'Nuff said.

3. Sebastien Frey: Arsenal are ALWAYS linked with Frey. It's a ritual.

2. James Milner: as if Villa want to sell him. As if Villa want to sell him for less than umpty-fifteen million. As if anyone but Man City has that kind of money.

1. Fernando Torres, David Villa, Mario Balotelli: I split this in three because they are all mentioned in the same "story" in the Metro. About strikers Arsenal would like to sign. Yeah. and who wouldn't? Please...

So, that's me sticking my head out, then. Feel free to comment and discuss any target on this blog.